As the behavior becomes routine, the last thing that occurs to us is to pick up the telephone and get help. We are slowly drawn into the thinking that the alcoholic should be protected. We learn to cover for him, lie for him and hide the truth. We learn to keep secrets, no matter how bad the chaos and insanity all around us has become.

Few realize that by “protecting” the alcoholic with little lies and deceptions to the outside world we are in fact creating a situation that makes it easier for him to continue in his downward spiral. Rather than help the alcoholic we actually enable him to get worse.

The disease will continue to progress for the alcoholic until he is ready to reach out and get help for himself. Waiting for the alcoholic to reach out is not the family?s only choice.

Other family members can begin to recover whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. But it can’t happen until somebody picks up the telephone and asks for help. There is hope and help out there.

A few years ago there was a story going around the 12-step rooms about a frog in the water.

The story goes like this:

If you put a frog into a pan of boiling water, it will jump out faster than the eye can see. But if you put the frog into a pan of water that is the frog’s body temperature and then slowly turn up the heat the frog will stay in the water — even to the point of boiling alive.

Why? Because the frog does not notice the gradual change in temperature.

Alcoholism works much the same way… the heat is slowly and continuously turned up but nobody notices the change. Cunning and baffling!

It?s a progressive disease. It typically begins with casually accepting unacceptable behavior. As time passes the behavior has slowly grown more and more intolerable, but it is still being accepted and becomes the “norm.”

Alcoholism is an illness that involves every member of the family; a case in point is the fact that kids who come into Alateen rooms generally report that they have more problems dealing with the non-drinking parent than they do the alcoholic.

What? I don’t have a problem! He… him… he’s the alcoholic! He’s the one who is in trouble all the time! He’s the one who causes all the problems…

This might be true, but the alcoholic is also predictable. Kids can read an alcoholic like a book. Kids know when it’s the right time to ask for extra money, or if they can go out with their friends; they also know when it’s time to make themselves scarce and get out of the way. As far as the alcoholic is concerned kids know the routine. However, they never know where the bedraggled non-drinking parent is coming from next.

One minute the non-drinking parent is screaming at the alcoholic and the next minute she may be compassionately rescuing him from the consequences of his latest episode, i.e. dutifully cleaning up his messes, making excuses for him and accepting an increasing degree of unacceptable behavior.

The truth of alcoholism affects the entire family?s life, the attitudes and thinking of everyone changes perhaps more dramatically than it does for the drinking spouse and is often hard to recognize. Why? Because it creeps up slowly.

According to the Baldwin Research Institute organized treatment programs actually lessen your chances of success. The reasoning is that programs typically fail due to many alcoholics seeking external resources for recovery instead of internal wherewithal.

According to a 1990 article, Research Issues in Assessing Addiction Treatment Efficacy, posted on the Stanton Peele Addiction Website, “Contemporary treatment for alcoholism owes its existence more to historical processes than to science…”

Increase your chances of success by using your support system, resources, and most importantly trust in yourself to keep to your decision to stay sober.

.1 Don?t forget that it’s o.k. to simply say, “No thank you,? when you are offered a drink. If you?re questioned merely say that you don’t drink, or that you don’t feel like drinking just then.

2. Attempt to stay away from situations that might lead to being pressured to drink. Visiting a bar with your drinking buddies might not be the best place to work on your resolve to quit drinking.

3. Hang out with those who support your decision. Surround yourself with sympathetic people who care about you, your health, and your resolve to quit drinking.

4. Be kind to yourself. Make peace inside yourself regarding your decision to quit. Don?t let uncertainty take over your thoughts regarding your ability to stay sober. You are in control of the decision and nobody else. Tim Kizer, who has been sober for over 7 years quips, “quitting drinking is the easy part, it’s the staying quit that is the key.”

5. Don?t simply take it one day at a time. You must take it one moment at a time. The decision whether to drink or not drink is made in a moment?s time. When faced with that question, make the decision to stay healthy and sober.

Here are some steps can help you if your doctor tells you to cut down on your drinking:

1. Write down the reasons you wish to cut down or stop.
Why do you want to drink less? There may be a number of reasons why you want to cut down or stop drinking. The reasons may be to improve your health, sleep better, or get along better with your family or friends. Make a list of all the reasons why you want to drink less.

2. Set a goal of how much you will drink.
Decide, before you begin drinking, exactly how many drinks you will have. You may decide to cut down or not to drink at all. If you are cutting down, keep below these limits:

Women: No more than one alcoholic drink per day
Men: No more than two alcoholic drinks per day

A drink is:
one 12-ounce bottle of beer;
one 5-ounce glass of wine; or
one 1 1/2-ounce shot of liquor.

Depending on any medical issues you may have these limits may be too high. Talk with your doctor and decide on a limit that is right for you.

Write your goal on a piece of paper. Put it where you can see it daily, such as on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror.

Hope you’ve enjoyed the last two free audios on “Programming Yourself for Success”, this next audio is all about “How To Get In Life What You Ask For”.

(These audio extracts are taken from Lee Milteer’s highly acclaimed “Life Strategies” course, which contains 6 full hours of life changing information)

All you need to do is hit the play button below and it will start automatically (make sure you turn up your speakers - audio lasts about 6 minutes).

I hope you enjoy this great audio “lesson”, and please let me know what you think in the comments area below.

Here’s another excellent audio on how to “Program Yourself for Success”, this audio talks about “Self Successful Programming”.

You’ll learn how your self talk creates your self-esteem and self-image, and how your self-image determines your destiny “You are 100% responsible for the quality of your own life.”

All you need to do is hit the play button below and it will start automatically (make sure you turn up your speakers - audio lasts about 10 minutes).

Enjoy, and please leave your comments below. Thanks.

…..

I’ve just uploaded this excellent audio on how to “Program Yourself for Success”, it’s taken from Lee Milteer’s highly acclaimed “Life Strategies” course…

…and shows you how to take control of your life and tap into your inner talents to realize your true potential.

All you need to do is hit the play button below and it will start automatically. (It’s just over 8 minutes long and is 100% useful information)

Enjoy, and please leave your comments below. Thanks.

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If you believe that you are drinking too much you can recover your life and health by reducing your alcohol consumption. What exactly entails drinking too much?

Read the following questions and answer “yes” or “no”:

Do you drink alone when you are angry or sad?
Does your drinking ever make you late for work or appointments?
Does your family believe your drinking excessive?
Do you drink after telling yourself you won’t?
Do you ever not remember what you did while you were drinking?
Do you frequently have a hang-over or get headaches after you have been drinking?

You may have a problem with alcohol if you answered “yes” to any of these questions. If you have any questions you can always consult with your medical doctor to be sure. Your doctor should be able to tell you whether it is in your best interest to simply cut down or completely abstain.

If you are having medical problems directly related to your alcohol consumption, you should not just reduce the amount you drink –you should stop drinking completely. Your doctor will advise you about what is right for you.